About
The Book

"Being a mentor is something people do, but generally not something they think deeply about."

Buy the book — R300

About the book

We are saturated with mentorship strategy. Frameworks for sessions, boundary systems, programme designs, ministry growth theories. They matter, but they aren't the foundation. Before You Call Yourself a Mentor engages with the who, what and why of mentorship over the traditional approach of where, when and how.

A focus on heartA focus on execution

WhoWhatWhyWhereWhenHow

The book is structured as a journey through the heart of mentorship, with short chapters built around real stories, biblical reflection, practical frameworks and reflective prompts. It's an invitation to anyone who has ever poured into another person, to those who have wondered whether they should, and even those who have wondered whether they were qualified to.

Inside the book

Chapter One

Hello, My Name Is Mentor

The reframing of mentorship away from modern interpretations and back towards relational guidance and wisdom.

Chapter Two

Same Same But Different

We are not meant to be all things to all people. Exploring the differences between mentors, coaches, leaders, counsellors and other helping roles.

Chapter Three

A Child of Encouragement

A biblical case-study on the heart of mentorship from an unlikely person.

Chapter Four

Check Your Heart

Mentorship is about speaking potential, all flowing from character, care and authenticity rather than obligation or structure.

Chapter Five

The Five Phases of Mentorship

Looking at the five phases of mentorship: Spark, Initiation, Cultivation, Separation, Redefinition.

Chapter Six

Encouragement and Resistance

Mentors help others stay aligned to their true selves by balancing encouragement with healthy resistance.

Chapter Seven

Mentorship vs. Discipleship

Two terms, often used interchangeably, each with their own importance and place. Wisdom lies in knowing when each is needed.

Chapter Eight

Walking With the Next Generation

How to navigate the beauty and complexity of mentoring youth and young adults in a way that is transformational but also safe and responsible.

Chapter Nine

The Grey Matters

Mentorship often lives in the "grey" between personal and professional, informal and formal, and healthy relationships learn how to navigate that space with clarity.

Chapter Ten

Beauty in Boundaries

Healthy boundaries don't restrict mentorship — they protect and sustain it, giving both mentor and mentee the clarity, safety and grace needed to keep showing up.

Chapter Eleven

Toolkits

The power of using a mentorship map to help align expectations and perspectives, and the importance of letting small, simple actions do the work.

Chapter Twelve

The Mentor's Mantle

Mentorship is not a title, but a mantle centred on faith, hope and love.

Who this book is for

The accidental mentorThe person already pouring into someone else — at work, in church, at home — and quietly wondering whether they're getting it right.
The qualified-feeling scepticThe person who's been told they should mentor, but can't get past the feeling that they haven't earned the right to.
The leader of leadersPastors, youth workers, managers, parents — anyone holding responsibility for people who themselves hold responsibility for people.
The mentee who's disillusionedThe person who's experienced bad mentorship and is trying to articulate what was missing, and what to look for next time.

About the author

Richard Gorven

South African author Richard Gorven has spent over two decades mentoring young people through ministry, the corporate world, music and the non-profit sector. Before You Call Yourself a Mentor is what came out of stepping back and asking what the work has actually been about. The answer turned out to be smaller, harder and far more important than he ever thought.

Read the full author bio